You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
only you would photoshop your dick
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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