She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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