you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
