i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
