they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
