his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
