can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
