Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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