She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
