A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
