i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
