Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
