Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
