I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
