I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i drank out of a bidet.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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