Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
