i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
