Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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