So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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