the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
