somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
