dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
