dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
