i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
