i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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