Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
