He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
