Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
two words...techno handjob
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
