What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
