Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
