I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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