Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
