Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
