Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
