Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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