her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
