I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
