She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
