Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
