Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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