he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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