I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
