I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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