More tranny stories later!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
