Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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