its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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