Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
