I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
