Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
