so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
