So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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