then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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